Thursday, April 24, 2008
She's Here
A little early, but she's healthy. More blogging in coming days, but for now, this tired momma needs a nap. I don't know who cried more... me or her when she came out. Can't wait for you all to meet her!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
#28 -- Bright Lights, Big Cities
Whether you are in an apartment right in the middle of an urban area, or you just visit big cities for special occasions, you have to experience the "drive by" of a few at night.
It's easy to get swallowed up by the hustle and chaos of a busy downtown area as you walk the sidewalks and duck in and out of businesses. Even easier -- to curse at cramped traffic at 5 p.m. as everyone tries to leave the parking garages at the same time.
But there is something calming and majestic about seeing the big picture of a metro area after dark -- preferrably as you fly by on an overpass or encircling interstate system.
Indianapolis was always more glamorous when I viewed it from 465 South after 8 p.m. The red lights of the Key Bank building, and several area hospitals, towered over the historic churches, businesses and homes. It made that "Indiana town" look like it really did belong among the ranks of the "greats" like Chicago, New York and L.A.
I have never visited St. Louis. But I will never forget driving through it at 10 p.m. on the way home from a trip to Kansas City for a football game. The highway wound through glowing buildings, and a ball park or two. Suddenly, the famous "Arch" appeared on the left-- lit up against the stark sky -- and was literally breathtaking.
Chicago, of course, will always hold the top spot for me. Leaving town after a Cubs game, whether in a car or on the train, is bittersweet as the blinking antenna on both the John Hancock Building and Sears Tower fade into the dark sky. Lights at all heights and of all sizes adorn the night -- and it's hard not to think about all of the people who are out at the clubs and bars, working the graveyard shift or snuggled up in their brownstones watching the evening news.
And last night, I took notice of downtown Orlando for the first time in over a year. I found myself north of downtown, and beginning the southbound journey home on I-4. Maybe it was the new angle, or time of day, but as I looked at the buildings I'd seen so many times before, I was unexpectedly impressed. The lights of Amway Arena, hailing a one-point Magic playoff victory, sat on my right, while the businesses of the left basked in the balmy Florida night. The city lights extended for at least a mile, before tapering off to low-lying malls and hotels for the rest of the trip. I thought of all the places in that well-lit strip that I had been, and longed for the time and means to visit all the others. The city lights were inviting, pulling me in with their unfamiliarity.
The perceived serenity of a metro area after dark might only be an illusion. But it's lovely...and illuminating.
It's easy to get swallowed up by the hustle and chaos of a busy downtown area as you walk the sidewalks and duck in and out of businesses. Even easier -- to curse at cramped traffic at 5 p.m. as everyone tries to leave the parking garages at the same time.
But there is something calming and majestic about seeing the big picture of a metro area after dark -- preferrably as you fly by on an overpass or encircling interstate system.
Indianapolis was always more glamorous when I viewed it from 465 South after 8 p.m. The red lights of the Key Bank building, and several area hospitals, towered over the historic churches, businesses and homes. It made that "Indiana town" look like it really did belong among the ranks of the "greats" like Chicago, New York and L.A.
I have never visited St. Louis. But I will never forget driving through it at 10 p.m. on the way home from a trip to Kansas City for a football game. The highway wound through glowing buildings, and a ball park or two. Suddenly, the famous "Arch" appeared on the left-- lit up against the stark sky -- and was literally breathtaking.
Chicago, of course, will always hold the top spot for me. Leaving town after a Cubs game, whether in a car or on the train, is bittersweet as the blinking antenna on both the John Hancock Building and Sears Tower fade into the dark sky. Lights at all heights and of all sizes adorn the night -- and it's hard not to think about all of the people who are out at the clubs and bars, working the graveyard shift or snuggled up in their brownstones watching the evening news.
And last night, I took notice of downtown Orlando for the first time in over a year. I found myself north of downtown, and beginning the southbound journey home on I-4. Maybe it was the new angle, or time of day, but as I looked at the buildings I'd seen so many times before, I was unexpectedly impressed. The lights of Amway Arena, hailing a one-point Magic playoff victory, sat on my right, while the businesses of the left basked in the balmy Florida night. The city lights extended for at least a mile, before tapering off to low-lying malls and hotels for the rest of the trip. I thought of all the places in that well-lit strip that I had been, and longed for the time and means to visit all the others. The city lights were inviting, pulling me in with their unfamiliarity.
The perceived serenity of a metro area after dark might only be an illusion. But it's lovely...and illuminating.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
#29 -- Hometown Roots
It's hard to say where you will call your "hometown" someday. In my case, I was born in one place and then moved to a few other places before I landed in the spot that I will always call my hometown -- Michigan City, Indiana. The name is a contradiction in itself (Why is it called Michigan City, if it's in Indiana?) and it is true that of all the cities I've lived so far, it is the most challenging place to classify.
Is it a stereotypical Indiana town, with one stoplight and cows grazing in the fields?? No, but it has it's share of cornfields. Is it a small town? In the 30,000-range, it is neither small nor big, but yet you can always find someone that you know at the grocery store. And while Indiana is not the most diverse state in the union, being situated so close to Chicago, and Gary, Indiana, brings a mixture of cultures to my hometown. There are the "Cityzens" who call MC home year-round, and there are the FOPs (ah-hem...Friendly Illinois People) who own million-dollar second homes on Lake Michigan that are visited only on Memorial Day, the Fourth of July and Labor Day.
It's gray and covered in snow from November to March, and scorching hot on the beaches in July and August. The public schools struggle with low ratings, but churn out exceptional students, athletes and performers every year. The one-way streets around the old downtown area frustrate unseasoned visitors to the outlet mall and riverboat casino. If you want to move somewhere and be totally confused for the first few years, give good ole' MC a try...
The point is this: Someday there will be place that you can analyze like I just did. A place that gives you butterflies in your stomach every time you visit, and your high school friends' parents want to know everything about your life when they run into you at a restaurant. A place where you read the local newspaper online, just to keep up on the changes, and then feel an unexpected twinge of sadness when a new building or parking lot has sprouted up since the last time you visited.
Will you call Orlando your hometown? Or St. Cloud? Chicago? L.A.?
Or maybe even Michigan City?
In the words of Dr. Seuss, "Oh, the places you'll go...."
But always remember L. Frank Baum's even more notorious ones...
"There's no place like home."
There really isn't.
Is it a stereotypical Indiana town, with one stoplight and cows grazing in the fields?? No, but it has it's share of cornfields. Is it a small town? In the 30,000-range, it is neither small nor big, but yet you can always find someone that you know at the grocery store. And while Indiana is not the most diverse state in the union, being situated so close to Chicago, and Gary, Indiana, brings a mixture of cultures to my hometown. There are the "Cityzens" who call MC home year-round, and there are the FOPs (ah-hem...Friendly Illinois People) who own million-dollar second homes on Lake Michigan that are visited only on Memorial Day, the Fourth of July and Labor Day.
It's gray and covered in snow from November to March, and scorching hot on the beaches in July and August. The public schools struggle with low ratings, but churn out exceptional students, athletes and performers every year. The one-way streets around the old downtown area frustrate unseasoned visitors to the outlet mall and riverboat casino. If you want to move somewhere and be totally confused for the first few years, give good ole' MC a try...
The point is this: Someday there will be place that you can analyze like I just did. A place that gives you butterflies in your stomach every time you visit, and your high school friends' parents want to know everything about your life when they run into you at a restaurant. A place where you read the local newspaper online, just to keep up on the changes, and then feel an unexpected twinge of sadness when a new building or parking lot has sprouted up since the last time you visited.
Will you call Orlando your hometown? Or St. Cloud? Chicago? L.A.?
Or maybe even Michigan City?
In the words of Dr. Seuss, "Oh, the places you'll go...."
But always remember L. Frank Baum's even more notorious ones...
"There's no place like home."
There really isn't.
Monday, April 21, 2008
I'm Back
Dear Readers,
Well, the whole point of giving Emme "50 things" that she is going to love about life was to post one per day... However, I fell a bit behind this week and my doctors are telling me that she may come early. So I'm just going to start posting a few some days, and maybe none on the other days. I've even asked a few friends to write a few "guest blogs" -- partly to make my goal of 50, but also because I think it would be great for other people to pick up on things I might have missed.
A friend told me a few weeks ago that one of the most frustrating things about being a new mom is that you can't even get ONE simple thing done. Maybe this is just a sign of things to come?? Happy reading...
Well, the whole point of giving Emme "50 things" that she is going to love about life was to post one per day... However, I fell a bit behind this week and my doctors are telling me that she may come early. So I'm just going to start posting a few some days, and maybe none on the other days. I've even asked a few friends to write a few "guest blogs" -- partly to make my goal of 50, but also because I think it would be great for other people to pick up on things I might have missed.
A friend told me a few weeks ago that one of the most frustrating things about being a new mom is that you can't even get ONE simple thing done. Maybe this is just a sign of things to come?? Happy reading...
#30 -- The Kindness of Strangers (and familiar faces)
If you are anything like your mom, you will automatically assume that everything is your responsibility and that you need to take care of each detail yourself. While I encourage independence, try not to overlook the people reaching out to you along the way.
Of course the most surprising is when a stranger does something kind, like lets you go before him or her in line at the store when you only have one thing, or asks you if you are "ok" in the crowded post office when you are looking especially glum. No matter how into your own thoughts you may be, return the kindness with a smile and a "thank you" and then try to pay it forward. I remember a strange break-down of my car just after dark as I drove from Indianapolis to see the family in Michigan City. I was two hours away from Indy, and at least an hour from home, on the side of a very busy intersection. It was freezing, and dark, and I was about a mile from the nearest exit. An off-duty police officer pulled over, helped me get my car to safety, found a friend who had a temporary replacement part and took me to the nearest McDonalds to wait for my parents to pick me up. I tried to pay him with what little cash I had in my wallet, and he refused. At first, I felt bad for inconveniencing him on a Friday night. But he seemed pleased to help, and relieved that he had come along when he did. Who knows what may have happened as I waited for other help to come that night? But the kindness of a stranger kept me safe, and warm, and surprisingly calm in an odd and scarey situation.
Perhaps the easiest kindness to overlook is that of the people you see everyday. It is simple to take for granted the sacrifices people make for you on a regular basis. Whether your boss gives you more of the tasks you enjoy, and less of the ones that bore you, or a friend keeps you updated on the score of the big game while you are busy at work -- try to appreciate the people around you who are taking the time to think of you. And I'm not just saying this because as your mom, I will face many thankless days. While I hope that you are grateful for all you will be given in your life, I am not in it for the "thank yous" or mother's day gifts. All that I'm suggesting is to at least recognize that there are people out there pulling for you, and to appreciate it.
Already so many people love you and would do anything to be sure that your life here on earth is as fulfilling, safe and wonderful as it can possibly be. You are going to be one lucky, and spoiled, little girl. I hope it pushes you to become a strong and compassionate woman.
Of course the most surprising is when a stranger does something kind, like lets you go before him or her in line at the store when you only have one thing, or asks you if you are "ok" in the crowded post office when you are looking especially glum. No matter how into your own thoughts you may be, return the kindness with a smile and a "thank you" and then try to pay it forward. I remember a strange break-down of my car just after dark as I drove from Indianapolis to see the family in Michigan City. I was two hours away from Indy, and at least an hour from home, on the side of a very busy intersection. It was freezing, and dark, and I was about a mile from the nearest exit. An off-duty police officer pulled over, helped me get my car to safety, found a friend who had a temporary replacement part and took me to the nearest McDonalds to wait for my parents to pick me up. I tried to pay him with what little cash I had in my wallet, and he refused. At first, I felt bad for inconveniencing him on a Friday night. But he seemed pleased to help, and relieved that he had come along when he did. Who knows what may have happened as I waited for other help to come that night? But the kindness of a stranger kept me safe, and warm, and surprisingly calm in an odd and scarey situation.
Perhaps the easiest kindness to overlook is that of the people you see everyday. It is simple to take for granted the sacrifices people make for you on a regular basis. Whether your boss gives you more of the tasks you enjoy, and less of the ones that bore you, or a friend keeps you updated on the score of the big game while you are busy at work -- try to appreciate the people around you who are taking the time to think of you. And I'm not just saying this because as your mom, I will face many thankless days. While I hope that you are grateful for all you will be given in your life, I am not in it for the "thank yous" or mother's day gifts. All that I'm suggesting is to at least recognize that there are people out there pulling for you, and to appreciate it.
Already so many people love you and would do anything to be sure that your life here on earth is as fulfilling, safe and wonderful as it can possibly be. You are going to be one lucky, and spoiled, little girl. I hope it pushes you to become a strong and compassionate woman.
#31 -- Movies
I have no idea what platform will be most popular when you are in the midst of your movie watching prime, but however you watch -- enjoy!
My own categorization of movies goes something like this --
1. The Comfort Films: These are the movies that you are able to watch over and over and recite every line without fail. Even if you have these movies on DVD (or whatever you kids are using these days), you still stop to watch at least part of them when they are on TV (commercials and all). You will likely use quotes from these films on your Web page and just in everyday conversation. Maybe you will connect with the protagonist on a high level, or maybe the movie just makes you smile. Whatever the reason -- these movies keep you coming back for more. Here's a short list of mine (so far)...
The Diary of Bridgette Jones, The Wedding Singer, Love Actually, Chicago and Napoleon Dynamite.
2. Sappy Tearjerkers: Ok, so you know that these movies are not realistic on any level. No man thinks far enough ahead to send his wife flowers every anniversary after he's dead, or no mean-spirited boss learns that he or she is jerk and changes his or her ways forever. But there's something about the swelling soundtrack underneath, and the way the camera captures the perfect shot of a single tear that makes you somehow believe. These are not movies for any old Saturday afternoon. They are reserved for girls' nights, or date nights, or really anytime you need a break from reality (and are willing to give in to the unrealistic nature of the film without pessimism or eye rolling). Movies like this are strangely theraputic when employed at the right moment. My favs...
The Notebook, Where the Heart Is, Titanic, Serendipity, Steel Magnolias, Forrest Gump and Homeward Bound.
3. "Good" Movies: These are the films that have usually won numerous awards and been hailed by critics as having high quality writing, acting and cinematography. Unfortunately, these are the films that you will probably only watch one time. Some of them are so moving that you won't emotionally be able to handle a second viewing, and others reveal such surprising plot twists that there is no point in watching them again (knowing what you now know). These films are difficult to watch, but you walk away a better person for the experience. Again -- these are not for every mood or time of day. I have shut off many of these films because I just couldn't handle seeing them at that point in my life. But when I prepare myself and am truly ready, these films are enjoyable and inspirational. Some of them are...
The Hours, Sylvia, Schindler's List, Cold Mountain, Brokeback Mountain, Crash and Fight Club.
As you transition from cartoons and dancing bears to "grown up" movies, enjoy the journey. And don't be afraid to turn it off and return later, or watch it 100 more times.
My own categorization of movies goes something like this --
1. The Comfort Films: These are the movies that you are able to watch over and over and recite every line without fail. Even if you have these movies on DVD (or whatever you kids are using these days), you still stop to watch at least part of them when they are on TV (commercials and all). You will likely use quotes from these films on your Web page and just in everyday conversation. Maybe you will connect with the protagonist on a high level, or maybe the movie just makes you smile. Whatever the reason -- these movies keep you coming back for more. Here's a short list of mine (so far)...
The Diary of Bridgette Jones, The Wedding Singer, Love Actually, Chicago and Napoleon Dynamite.
2. Sappy Tearjerkers: Ok, so you know that these movies are not realistic on any level. No man thinks far enough ahead to send his wife flowers every anniversary after he's dead, or no mean-spirited boss learns that he or she is jerk and changes his or her ways forever. But there's something about the swelling soundtrack underneath, and the way the camera captures the perfect shot of a single tear that makes you somehow believe. These are not movies for any old Saturday afternoon. They are reserved for girls' nights, or date nights, or really anytime you need a break from reality (and are willing to give in to the unrealistic nature of the film without pessimism or eye rolling). Movies like this are strangely theraputic when employed at the right moment. My favs...
The Notebook, Where the Heart Is, Titanic, Serendipity, Steel Magnolias, Forrest Gump and Homeward Bound.
3. "Good" Movies: These are the films that have usually won numerous awards and been hailed by critics as having high quality writing, acting and cinematography. Unfortunately, these are the films that you will probably only watch one time. Some of them are so moving that you won't emotionally be able to handle a second viewing, and others reveal such surprising plot twists that there is no point in watching them again (knowing what you now know). These films are difficult to watch, but you walk away a better person for the experience. Again -- these are not for every mood or time of day. I have shut off many of these films because I just couldn't handle seeing them at that point in my life. But when I prepare myself and am truly ready, these films are enjoyable and inspirational. Some of them are...
The Hours, Sylvia, Schindler's List, Cold Mountain, Brokeback Mountain, Crash and Fight Club.
As you transition from cartoons and dancing bears to "grown up" movies, enjoy the journey. And don't be afraid to turn it off and return later, or watch it 100 more times.
# 32 -- Restlessness
Well it is 4:30am, and I have no reason to be awake... except that you are awake and so big now that I feel every little move, kick and squirm. It's reassuring to know that you are so active in there... but at the same time, tossing and turning is not my favorite thing in the world. So blogging it is...
Number 32 is all about restlessness. Partly because I know that you are feeling it right now, and partly because it will be a driving factor in many of your life changing decisions.
Stability is truly the American dream. Whether your "thing" is a 9 to 5 office job, or working the graveyard shift in order to play golf during the day -- having a routine where job, family, finances and fun are scheduled and predictable is what almost everyone is seeking. But beware -- stability can be highly overrated, and unsatisfying.
Am I suggesting, as your mother, that you should plant no roots and live everyday without a rule book? Of course not... But I am saying that if you notice your heart pulling you a direction that is different, and even daunting, from your everyday life -- listen to that scarey little voice. Sometimes it is intuition warning you that your normalcy is about to be interuppted, whether you prepare or not. Sometimes that restless feeling has no obvious implications, but you will just really FEEL like an area of your life needs to change. If it makes you feel better, talk it over with friends and family, but remember that only you have the power to change.
There is a sharp difference between changing because things are too hard and you want to quit, and changing because the winds of life are pulling you that direction. Whether it's your job, friendships, where you live, how you are living or how you are spending your energy -- take the time to evaluate, and re-evaluate, your life. Especially when your restless spirit is stirring.
Number 32 is all about restlessness. Partly because I know that you are feeling it right now, and partly because it will be a driving factor in many of your life changing decisions.
Stability is truly the American dream. Whether your "thing" is a 9 to 5 office job, or working the graveyard shift in order to play golf during the day -- having a routine where job, family, finances and fun are scheduled and predictable is what almost everyone is seeking. But beware -- stability can be highly overrated, and unsatisfying.
Am I suggesting, as your mother, that you should plant no roots and live everyday without a rule book? Of course not... But I am saying that if you notice your heart pulling you a direction that is different, and even daunting, from your everyday life -- listen to that scarey little voice. Sometimes it is intuition warning you that your normalcy is about to be interuppted, whether you prepare or not. Sometimes that restless feeling has no obvious implications, but you will just really FEEL like an area of your life needs to change. If it makes you feel better, talk it over with friends and family, but remember that only you have the power to change.
There is a sharp difference between changing because things are too hard and you want to quit, and changing because the winds of life are pulling you that direction. Whether it's your job, friendships, where you live, how you are living or how you are spending your energy -- take the time to evaluate, and re-evaluate, your life. Especially when your restless spirit is stirring.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
#33 -- Ice Cream, in moderation :-)
Even as I approach being 9 months pregnant, and weighing more than I ever have before, I am not having the round-the-clock cravings for pickles and ice cream (though the toughest weeks are up ahead). Still, a few times each week a little bowl of vanilla ice cream with a bit of chocolate syrup or peanut butter is comforting to me. It has calcium, right?
And while I'm not insane over ice cream, it has been the perfect treat at the perfect moment at so many points in my life.
I remember your Grandpa Bruce taking me and your uncles to Frosty Boy during the summer. We would pile into his pick-up truck and take the 3 minute ride to the neighborhood jaunt that was the summertime favorite of kids and parents alike. With two windows and a drive-thru, Frosty Boy was short on seating -- but brimming with tasty treats. Vanilla cones dipped in sprinkles, or coconut, or laced with strawberry syrup were the most common sight, but "Flurries" were the knock-off of choice for bigger kids and adults. Since the dessert shack was only open a few months out of the year, everyone tried to get their fill before the the windows were boarded up for the season. It was poetic, really... Everyone rushing to finish their cones before the frozen liquid fell prey to the July sun.
And there are other times that ice cream is memorable... Birthdays (with cake or as the cake itself, of course), while watching tearjerking chick flicks or while sharing your favorite malted milkshake with that gosh-darn cute boy from your 2nd grade class (that last one may be a Norman Rockwell painting).
The point is that whether your guilty pleasure of choice is mint chocolate chip, butter rum, or double fudge triple nut supreme, no other is better for celebrations -- or simple summer evenings.
And while I'm not insane over ice cream, it has been the perfect treat at the perfect moment at so many points in my life.
I remember your Grandpa Bruce taking me and your uncles to Frosty Boy during the summer. We would pile into his pick-up truck and take the 3 minute ride to the neighborhood jaunt that was the summertime favorite of kids and parents alike. With two windows and a drive-thru, Frosty Boy was short on seating -- but brimming with tasty treats. Vanilla cones dipped in sprinkles, or coconut, or laced with strawberry syrup were the most common sight, but "Flurries" were the knock-off of choice for bigger kids and adults. Since the dessert shack was only open a few months out of the year, everyone tried to get their fill before the the windows were boarded up for the season. It was poetic, really... Everyone rushing to finish their cones before the frozen liquid fell prey to the July sun.
And there are other times that ice cream is memorable... Birthdays (with cake or as the cake itself, of course), while watching tearjerking chick flicks or while sharing your favorite malted milkshake with that gosh-darn cute boy from your 2nd grade class (that last one may be a Norman Rockwell painting).
The point is that whether your guilty pleasure of choice is mint chocolate chip, butter rum, or double fudge triple nut supreme, no other is better for celebrations -- or simple summer evenings.
Monday, April 14, 2008
#34 -- Photos
Long gone are the days when taking -- and then actually seeing -- a picture was time consuming and took some planning. Instantly being able to view, delete and enhance the picture you snapped only seconds before is a marker of modern times. Photography purists would argue that the age of digital images have diminshed the value of "a good photo" and overexposed the art form.
While it is true that I could stand in the exact same spot, with the same lighting and angle as Ansel Adams and still manage to snap something "mediocre" next to his desert scenes, the photos I take serve their purpose in my own life.
This will also be true for you (unless you do manage to put Mr. Adams to shame... in which case, show mommy the money). As soon as you are old enough, I envision a camera in your hand, or purse, or backpack, or cell phone (which apparently are being made for pre-schoolers now).
You will grow up so fast -- and your favorite places, friends and experiences will constantly change. Having a visual record of your life will not only be a trend, but also something for you to cherish.
I hope that you have the ability to paint your world in words alone -- but having hard copies for backup won't hurt.
While it is true that I could stand in the exact same spot, with the same lighting and angle as Ansel Adams and still manage to snap something "mediocre" next to his desert scenes, the photos I take serve their purpose in my own life.
This will also be true for you (unless you do manage to put Mr. Adams to shame... in which case, show mommy the money). As soon as you are old enough, I envision a camera in your hand, or purse, or backpack, or cell phone (which apparently are being made for pre-schoolers now).
You will grow up so fast -- and your favorite places, friends and experiences will constantly change. Having a visual record of your life will not only be a trend, but also something for you to cherish.
I hope that you have the ability to paint your world in words alone -- but having hard copies for backup won't hurt.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
#35 -- Books
Even when I was growing up, it was considered a little old-fashioned to read a book. It was something reserved for a lazy afternoon, or an assignment for school. Most people don't come home from work, lounge in their favorite recliner and open up a book. It's much easier to flip on the television, or get online, for entertainment. And actually, I think that there is value in those activities -- some of the best modern writers are using their talents in mediums outside the standard "great American novel." But if you can find at least a few of those great American, or African, or European novels to love, you will be inspired in all aspects of your life.
Some of my personal favorites, that will surely still be available in bookstores and libraries when you are ready...
The Awakening, by Kate Chopin
Angela's Ashes, by Frank McCourt
The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold
The Hours, by Michael Cunningham
The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
To The Lighthouse, by Virginia Woolfe
Marley and Me, by John Grogan (prepare to cry for weeks on end)
This is just a short list of the books that I have read, and re-read, and copied paragraphs from to look at later on when I am doing my own writing. It's incredible to me that people are able to use plain words to paint full pictures that are tangible to the reader -- unlike television, and movies, and the internet which complete the entire picture for you.
I've already got a few children's classics waiting for you, including some Dr. Seuss. I'll also keep my "big kid" books on hand for you...
Some of my personal favorites, that will surely still be available in bookstores and libraries when you are ready...
The Awakening, by Kate Chopin
Angela's Ashes, by Frank McCourt
The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold
The Hours, by Michael Cunningham
The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
To The Lighthouse, by Virginia Woolfe
Marley and Me, by John Grogan (prepare to cry for weeks on end)
This is just a short list of the books that I have read, and re-read, and copied paragraphs from to look at later on when I am doing my own writing. It's incredible to me that people are able to use plain words to paint full pictures that are tangible to the reader -- unlike television, and movies, and the internet which complete the entire picture for you.
I've already got a few children's classics waiting for you, including some Dr. Seuss. I'll also keep my "big kid" books on hand for you...
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
#36 -- Exercise
It's true that there are women who despise physical exertion and would rather count calories and nibble on saltines than ever step into a gym. I have a feeling that you are not going to be one of "those girls." For one thing, you already seem to be doing some type of kickboxing in my belly and Rockette style high-kicks around the clock. For another thing, you come from athletic stock on both sides. Swimming, diving, running, weight lifting and jazzercising are just a few of the activities your parents and grandparents enjoy. Are these the things for you? Or will you like tennis, or soccer, or ballroom dancing?
Even if you only find 20 minutes from your busy life to take a walk around your neighborhood, you will find that the release of energy and endorphins are a high unreachable in any other way. Add a little bit of sunshine and a slight breeze, and you will find increasing serenity with each step.
Exercising for recreation, or as a part of a training plan for the mastery of some sport, is an automatic self-esteem booster and something that you can "control" about body when everything else seems out of whack.
I wish you health and all of the benefits that come from setting down the remote and putting on your sneakers.
Even if you only find 20 minutes from your busy life to take a walk around your neighborhood, you will find that the release of energy and endorphins are a high unreachable in any other way. Add a little bit of sunshine and a slight breeze, and you will find increasing serenity with each step.
Exercising for recreation, or as a part of a training plan for the mastery of some sport, is an automatic self-esteem booster and something that you can "control" about body when everything else seems out of whack.
I wish you health and all of the benefits that come from setting down the remote and putting on your sneakers.
#37 -- Silly Crushes
This is not to be confused with serious relationships, or boyfriends, or even people that you actually know. Those are all topics we can discuss on their own later (much later young lady)...
What I'm talking about here are the shallow, yet fun, crushes that we as woman develop for handsome, unattainable men. Occasionally there is a woman in the bunch who takes these feelings too far and winds up on the wrong side of a celebrity's fence, being tazered and chewed up by German Shepards, only to spend the next 6 months in a psychiatric ward. This is not a crush. This behaviour describes craziness.
But what is completely sane is watching a particular TV show just to see "him" or asking your Mom for tickets to his concert 2 years before he is even coming to town. Also normal -- thumbing through celebrity magazines just to see him surfing in Maui -- and then spending 15 minutes listing all the reasons you would be a better girlfriend than that twig of a woman with him on the beach. You don't care if he smokes, or drinks, or hates kittens -- you like him simply because he is cute.
I remember your Grandma Sally having a crush on Mel Gibson, right about the time the Lethal Weapon movies came out (you are probably scratching your head and saying "who?" right now). She even had a picture of him from a magazine, and I thought for sure that Grandpa Bruce was going to be SO mad. Instead, he just laughed and even teased her about it. The truth was that he wasn't threatened by a flat, glossy magazine page with big teeth -- and if it's presence made Grandma giddy, then he was all for it.
My own crushes come with a word of warning -- occasionally, there are times when you will come face to face with these men. The assumption is, of course, that these hotties will remain in pop culture lore and not walk into your normal life, but sometimes the stars align and put these guys in your path. Two times I have had the chance to show how awesome I was to a certain baseball player with whom I was obsessed. Both times my mouth went dry and I froze -- not even able to shake his hand. He just laughed and walked away. After about 10 minutes, I said "hi" but I don't think he heard me.
Just yesterday I met another athlete who I had told a colleague I thought was "cute." The same colleague thought it would be funny to bring this guy by my desk at 8:30am on a Monday morning -- before my computer was even turned on -- and introduce me. I think I said "hi" or "nice to meet you" or something -- but my Bambi-in-headlights look is probably what made this buff and ridiculously cute man laugh at me (are you seeing a trend here?).
The point here is that fantasy crushes are only fun when they are just that -- fantasy. Any attempt to cross the borders of reality will just ruin the whole concept for you (or make you look like a complete idiot).
So if you think that mop-headed boy behind the guitar is handsome, put his poster up on your wall. If you like the way that tow-headed and tan boy runs down the beach, watch his TV program religiously. It's ok to look, giggle and develop a sense of what you find attractive. Just try not to tell your male colleagues -- and practice what you will say if you should ever meet.
What I'm talking about here are the shallow, yet fun, crushes that we as woman develop for handsome, unattainable men. Occasionally there is a woman in the bunch who takes these feelings too far and winds up on the wrong side of a celebrity's fence, being tazered and chewed up by German Shepards, only to spend the next 6 months in a psychiatric ward. This is not a crush. This behaviour describes craziness.
But what is completely sane is watching a particular TV show just to see "him" or asking your Mom for tickets to his concert 2 years before he is even coming to town. Also normal -- thumbing through celebrity magazines just to see him surfing in Maui -- and then spending 15 minutes listing all the reasons you would be a better girlfriend than that twig of a woman with him on the beach. You don't care if he smokes, or drinks, or hates kittens -- you like him simply because he is cute.
I remember your Grandma Sally having a crush on Mel Gibson, right about the time the Lethal Weapon movies came out (you are probably scratching your head and saying "who?" right now). She even had a picture of him from a magazine, and I thought for sure that Grandpa Bruce was going to be SO mad. Instead, he just laughed and even teased her about it. The truth was that he wasn't threatened by a flat, glossy magazine page with big teeth -- and if it's presence made Grandma giddy, then he was all for it.
My own crushes come with a word of warning -- occasionally, there are times when you will come face to face with these men. The assumption is, of course, that these hotties will remain in pop culture lore and not walk into your normal life, but sometimes the stars align and put these guys in your path. Two times I have had the chance to show how awesome I was to a certain baseball player with whom I was obsessed. Both times my mouth went dry and I froze -- not even able to shake his hand. He just laughed and walked away. After about 10 minutes, I said "hi" but I don't think he heard me.
Just yesterday I met another athlete who I had told a colleague I thought was "cute." The same colleague thought it would be funny to bring this guy by my desk at 8:30am on a Monday morning -- before my computer was even turned on -- and introduce me. I think I said "hi" or "nice to meet you" or something -- but my Bambi-in-headlights look is probably what made this buff and ridiculously cute man laugh at me (are you seeing a trend here?).
The point here is that fantasy crushes are only fun when they are just that -- fantasy. Any attempt to cross the borders of reality will just ruin the whole concept for you (or make you look like a complete idiot).
So if you think that mop-headed boy behind the guitar is handsome, put his poster up on your wall. If you like the way that tow-headed and tan boy runs down the beach, watch his TV program religiously. It's ok to look, giggle and develop a sense of what you find attractive. Just try not to tell your male colleagues -- and practice what you will say if you should ever meet.
Monday, April 7, 2008
#38 -- Creative Domestic Projects
If you are anything like me, tasks on the domestic front will not come naturally. In fact, it may take you years to learn that expensive clothing does not "go" in organized piles in the middle of the floor, and that ovens are used for baking (not welding the bottom of your favorite wedge shoe back on -- boiling rubber smells). Let me save you a little more time... there really is a difference between baking soda and baking powder, bleach should only be used on white things (duh, but believe me, I've been there) and expiration dates should always be heeded with milk (and canned dog food). Now that we got those things out of the way...
While you may not (or may) find natural ability in streamlining a living space, sewing curtains or cleaning simple messes, I encourage you to take on at least a few creative projects that go against your grain. When I started preparing for all things "baby" with you, I had about 7 things on my gift registry and was just going to hang a few decals on the white walls of your nursery and say "Ta-Da!" I'm embarassed to say that the words, "Mothers used to just have their babies sleep in dresser drawers" came out of my mouth on more than one occasion.
But with encouragement from co-workers and your grandma Sally ("just put a bunch of things on your registry and see what you get. Who cares if you don't know what it is?"), and the kindness of relative strangers who took me in, gave me a room and bathroom and then insisted on painting your nursery the most perfect shade of pink ("white walls won't do for a little princess") -- I have discovered that it is challenging, exhausting, fun and rewarding to explore your inner domestic diva. Washing and organizing all your tiny clothes, hanging a flowing canopy over where your little head will rest in a few short weeks and arranging (and re-arranging) lots of ladybugs in places that I think you will like, has given me a new confidence as a woman, and soon-t0-be mother.
Do I think that conquering the domestic front is the true measure of a woman? Gosh, I hope not! But being a litte old-fashioned and girly on occasion feels...right, somehow. Don't be afraid to outshine me in these areas -- or at the very least, take me with you on your most daunting domestic journeys. I'll still be learning too.
While you may not (or may) find natural ability in streamlining a living space, sewing curtains or cleaning simple messes, I encourage you to take on at least a few creative projects that go against your grain. When I started preparing for all things "baby" with you, I had about 7 things on my gift registry and was just going to hang a few decals on the white walls of your nursery and say "Ta-Da!" I'm embarassed to say that the words, "Mothers used to just have their babies sleep in dresser drawers" came out of my mouth on more than one occasion.
But with encouragement from co-workers and your grandma Sally ("just put a bunch of things on your registry and see what you get. Who cares if you don't know what it is?"), and the kindness of relative strangers who took me in, gave me a room and bathroom and then insisted on painting your nursery the most perfect shade of pink ("white walls won't do for a little princess") -- I have discovered that it is challenging, exhausting, fun and rewarding to explore your inner domestic diva. Washing and organizing all your tiny clothes, hanging a flowing canopy over where your little head will rest in a few short weeks and arranging (and re-arranging) lots of ladybugs in places that I think you will like, has given me a new confidence as a woman, and soon-t0-be mother.
Do I think that conquering the domestic front is the true measure of a woman? Gosh, I hope not! But being a litte old-fashioned and girly on occasion feels...right, somehow. Don't be afraid to outshine me in these areas -- or at the very least, take me with you on your most daunting domestic journeys. I'll still be learning too.
#39 -- Driving
"Road Rage" is a term that I'm sure will still be around by the time you are ready to get behind your own set of wheels, and there are certainly reasons to be frustrated out on the roadways. But whether you are in a hurry, or just a Sunday afternoon drive, there is something empowering and even relaxing about being boxed inside your own motorized shuttle.
Maybe you will wind up in a metropolitan area, where you are able to walk or take mass transit everywhere. With gasoline prices on the rise (record highs as your delivery date draws closer), these may be your only affordable options. But my guess is that you will at some point find yourself in a car, listening to music (on the radio? on an iPod? will you even know what these things are?) and traveling to an important destination. Road trips with friends and family are fun and provide lasting memories. And some days, the only time you and I may have to talk will be on the drive to work, or school, or other activities in our busy lives. Some of your best, and unexpected, conversations (and silliest times) will take place in a car -- which is just a reality of the modern world.
But the times that you will enjoy the most in your car will be spent alone. Either driving to work, or to a friend's house, or home from college (to see your favorite person -- Mom!), or just to the bank. You will find that in the hectic pace of life, being locked inside your car alone -- where no one can talk to you, walk up without being announced or interrupt your thoughts -- brings a strange serenity.
I'm sure that we will have more conversations about the dos and donts of driving as you reach those years. And while it is a serious business, don't forget that it is also a lot of fun and can be a release.
Maybe you will wind up in a metropolitan area, where you are able to walk or take mass transit everywhere. With gasoline prices on the rise (record highs as your delivery date draws closer), these may be your only affordable options. But my guess is that you will at some point find yourself in a car, listening to music (on the radio? on an iPod? will you even know what these things are?) and traveling to an important destination. Road trips with friends and family are fun and provide lasting memories. And some days, the only time you and I may have to talk will be on the drive to work, or school, or other activities in our busy lives. Some of your best, and unexpected, conversations (and silliest times) will take place in a car -- which is just a reality of the modern world.
But the times that you will enjoy the most in your car will be spent alone. Either driving to work, or to a friend's house, or home from college (to see your favorite person -- Mom!), or just to the bank. You will find that in the hectic pace of life, being locked inside your car alone -- where no one can talk to you, walk up without being announced or interrupt your thoughts -- brings a strange serenity.
I'm sure that we will have more conversations about the dos and donts of driving as you reach those years. And while it is a serious business, don't forget that it is also a lot of fun and can be a release.
Friday, April 4, 2008
#40 -- Going Out to Breakfast
Going out to eat in general is usually a good time because it usually is in honor of something important happening, or just the fact that you don't have to find your own food yourself (which can be daunting when all that's in the fridge is a jar of pickles and ketchup packets). Dieticians complain that we live in a culture that celebrates accomplishments, events and our fabulous selves with food... but I say, "What's wrong with that?" I mean, I would rather be surrounded by loved ones over a potluck dinner, or at our favorite restaurant, then just sitting around in the living room talking about how exciting life is (while drinking bottled water). But I digress...
Of all the "out to eat" occasions, going to breakfast is the best. It tends to be more casual, and gives you something to look forward to as soon as you wake up. Formal attire is not required -- just throw on a t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops and wipe astringent over your face, brush your teeth (brushing hair is optional) and head out. Once you arrive at the restaurant, your early morning food combination choices are endless. You can be "good" and have a large fruit plate, glass of orange juice and dry wheat toast. You can go "it's a little bit bad, but I'm going to run 3 miles later" and have two eggs over-easy, wheat toast with butter on the side and black coffee. Or you can really jumpstart your metabolism and order the Lumberjack Scramble, or Working Man's Plate, or Oinker Breakfast D'jour, or whatever other fancy name describes your spread of eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast, sausage, grits and biscuits (and 3 cups of coffee with cream and sugar).
Whatever your mood on that particular morning, you can reflect it in a high carb, high fat, high caffiene feast. And while that sounds good on its own, there is an even better reason to love going out to breakfast...
It's the most intimate of social outings. Perhaps it is the sleepy haze still evident in the diners' faces, or the fact that there are just some things that need to be said before the day gets under way -- but the people you go to breakfast with are usually the ones who know your deepest concerns and who care enough to keep going for pancakes with you to hear more. These are the people you can count on, who care about you, and don't say anything if you order extra fruity topping or gravy. If they can love you covered in blueberry syrup and smelling like a sausage patty at 7 a.m., they can probably love you in any situation.
There will be times when you go to breakfast alone. This is also invigorating. Take a newspaper, or book, or crossword puzzle and eat your ten courses in a meticulous fashion and just enjoy the calm before the daily storm.
And if there is ever a day you need someone to make you feel better about ordering two sides of bacon, call (text, email, fax) your Mom. Because she needs someone to approve of her three-egg omlette with extra cheese....
Of all the "out to eat" occasions, going to breakfast is the best. It tends to be more casual, and gives you something to look forward to as soon as you wake up. Formal attire is not required -- just throw on a t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops and wipe astringent over your face, brush your teeth (brushing hair is optional) and head out. Once you arrive at the restaurant, your early morning food combination choices are endless. You can be "good" and have a large fruit plate, glass of orange juice and dry wheat toast. You can go "it's a little bit bad, but I'm going to run 3 miles later" and have two eggs over-easy, wheat toast with butter on the side and black coffee. Or you can really jumpstart your metabolism and order the Lumberjack Scramble, or Working Man's Plate, or Oinker Breakfast D'jour, or whatever other fancy name describes your spread of eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast, sausage, grits and biscuits (and 3 cups of coffee with cream and sugar).
Whatever your mood on that particular morning, you can reflect it in a high carb, high fat, high caffiene feast. And while that sounds good on its own, there is an even better reason to love going out to breakfast...
It's the most intimate of social outings. Perhaps it is the sleepy haze still evident in the diners' faces, or the fact that there are just some things that need to be said before the day gets under way -- but the people you go to breakfast with are usually the ones who know your deepest concerns and who care enough to keep going for pancakes with you to hear more. These are the people you can count on, who care about you, and don't say anything if you order extra fruity topping or gravy. If they can love you covered in blueberry syrup and smelling like a sausage patty at 7 a.m., they can probably love you in any situation.
There will be times when you go to breakfast alone. This is also invigorating. Take a newspaper, or book, or crossword puzzle and eat your ten courses in a meticulous fashion and just enjoy the calm before the daily storm.
And if there is ever a day you need someone to make you feel better about ordering two sides of bacon, call (text, email, fax) your Mom. Because she needs someone to approve of her three-egg omlette with extra cheese....
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
#41 -- Baseball
Ok, ok... so you might not love this one. It is America's pasttime, but by the time you are old enough to attend one, your attention may be committed to a thousand other interests. Or you might be too high-strung to sit through 9 innings of a no-hitter. But if you can find the time and patience on a June afternoon for three hours in a blue plastic seat, enjoy the game in its entirety.
Watch the expression of the first baseman as he hustles to tag out a runner, and observe the shadows stretching across the outfield as extra innings push an afternoon game into twilight. Buy a hot dog, soft pretzel, frozen lemonade, a bag of peanuts, cracker jack, or whatever new and glorious ballpark food concoction has been invented by then. Learn to keep a scorecard the old-school way and impress the old men in the bleacher seats around you -- then toss the same scorecard to the wayside when the under-appreciated catcher hits a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth. Wear a baseball cap (pink is ok) and design your own "catchy phrase" t-shirt (see Mom's old "Marry Me Corey" classic T for inspiration). Cheer the wins, ignore the losses, and above all -- find a team that you love, and stick by them despite the odds.
Being a baseball fan is a trial in loyalty, lesson in emotional investment and a lot of fun. This is coming from someone who has considered naming her first daughter Wrigley, Ivy, Addison and Ernie Banks (ok, I think I was a little loopy from folding onesies on that last one).
Long live America's pasttime, and may you have a life-long relationship with it.
Watch the expression of the first baseman as he hustles to tag out a runner, and observe the shadows stretching across the outfield as extra innings push an afternoon game into twilight. Buy a hot dog, soft pretzel, frozen lemonade, a bag of peanuts, cracker jack, or whatever new and glorious ballpark food concoction has been invented by then. Learn to keep a scorecard the old-school way and impress the old men in the bleacher seats around you -- then toss the same scorecard to the wayside when the under-appreciated catcher hits a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth. Wear a baseball cap (pink is ok) and design your own "catchy phrase" t-shirt (see Mom's old "Marry Me Corey" classic T for inspiration). Cheer the wins, ignore the losses, and above all -- find a team that you love, and stick by them despite the odds.
Being a baseball fan is a trial in loyalty, lesson in emotional investment and a lot of fun. This is coming from someone who has considered naming her first daughter Wrigley, Ivy, Addison and Ernie Banks (ok, I think I was a little loopy from folding onesies on that last one).
Long live America's pasttime, and may you have a life-long relationship with it.
#42 -- Gossip and other Girly Guilty Pleasures
Of course as your mother, I have to advise you that if you don't have something nice to say, then you shouldn't say anything at all. More than one time I've stuck my own foot in my mouth by relaying information that wasn't mine to relay, or saying things that shouldn't be said.
But gossip doesn't always have to be hurtful.... sometimes it is just learning who likes who, or what is happening behind the scenes at your workplace, or enjoying a collage of celebrity photos (that you wish you weren't interested in, but you can't help but stare at). Sometimes it is a way to bond with your colleagues, friends, neighbors and even strangers in the grocery store (when you are both in line, and both flipping through the pages of the latest Hollywood breakup scandal). Sometimes learning something shallow about someone else's life is a sweet escape from the demands of your own. Just try to stop short of being hurtful or mean-spirited...
And if you have a few hours to really waste on guilty pleasures, here's some advice from your (somewhat embarassed to admit I do this) Mom -- Throw on your bathing suit, pull your hair on top of your head, find the biggest pair of sunglasses you own, pour a glass of raspberry lemonade, aim your lawn chair toward the sun, and have a stack of fashion, gossip and entertainment magazines at your side. Pass the afternoon looking at glossy photos, reading haphazard writing, and forgetting about your own responsibilities for awhile.
When it's time to face the real world again, you will be surprised at how relaxed this silly activity has made you. The "scandals" of your own life will seem small, and your sense of purpose will be renewed.
Just do me a favor... if you should ever find yourself the object of the paparazzi glare, wear clean underwear and shave your armpits to avoid being caught on the dreaded "What were they thinking?" page.
But gossip doesn't always have to be hurtful.... sometimes it is just learning who likes who, or what is happening behind the scenes at your workplace, or enjoying a collage of celebrity photos (that you wish you weren't interested in, but you can't help but stare at). Sometimes it is a way to bond with your colleagues, friends, neighbors and even strangers in the grocery store (when you are both in line, and both flipping through the pages of the latest Hollywood breakup scandal). Sometimes learning something shallow about someone else's life is a sweet escape from the demands of your own. Just try to stop short of being hurtful or mean-spirited...
And if you have a few hours to really waste on guilty pleasures, here's some advice from your (somewhat embarassed to admit I do this) Mom -- Throw on your bathing suit, pull your hair on top of your head, find the biggest pair of sunglasses you own, pour a glass of raspberry lemonade, aim your lawn chair toward the sun, and have a stack of fashion, gossip and entertainment magazines at your side. Pass the afternoon looking at glossy photos, reading haphazard writing, and forgetting about your own responsibilities for awhile.
When it's time to face the real world again, you will be surprised at how relaxed this silly activity has made you. The "scandals" of your own life will seem small, and your sense of purpose will be renewed.
Just do me a favor... if you should ever find yourself the object of the paparazzi glare, wear clean underwear and shave your armpits to avoid being caught on the dreaded "What were they thinking?" page.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
#43 -- Rain
Throughout your life, you will hear people groan about rainy days and all the reasons why the precipitation is ruining their plans. Even you may feel disdain when the dark clouds roll in on the day you were supposed to spend at the beach... But on other occasions, when you wake up on a Saturday morning to the sound of droplets hitting your window, you will be lulled back to sleep by the peaceful, methodic tapping. It will be in those moments that you wrap your blanket a little more tightly around your shoulders, squeeze your pillow a little harder and appreciate your warm shelter.
There is something soothing about seeing the water wash away the dirt, grime and drought that had been plagueing the area. There is a crispness to the air and a fresh take on the surroundings you see everyday. Something about the sheer inconvenience of an afternoon downpour is invigorating, and inspires you to slow down -- whether you are driving, working or just looking out your back door -- and reevaluate your day.
You will want to splash around in the puddles, and I hope that in the midst of our busy lives, I will always let you.
There is something soothing about seeing the water wash away the dirt, grime and drought that had been plagueing the area. There is a crispness to the air and a fresh take on the surroundings you see everyday. Something about the sheer inconvenience of an afternoon downpour is invigorating, and inspires you to slow down -- whether you are driving, working or just looking out your back door -- and reevaluate your day.
You will want to splash around in the puddles, and I hope that in the midst of our busy lives, I will always let you.
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