A Good Man...

There's a lot of information out there about what constitutes a good man... Just turn on your TV and there is an array of models to chose from...

The "McDreamy" career man who gets his feelings hurt when you don't include him in all of your emotional meltdowns (he just wants to be part of your life, hear about all your insecurities and give you a sad, puppy dog gaze in the process)

The dumber-than-a-box-of-rocks shop class teacher, turned Spanish teacher, when there was no one else to take the job, who defends you when the former homecoming queen talks about how desperate you are (courtesy of my new fav show -- Miss Guided)

And the perennial classic....

"Mr. Big," who really doesn't want to hear about your emotional issues, but will track you down in Paris just to tell you how much he loves you and wants to make it work somehow, some way (set to make an appearance in May's film version of the story).

But has anyone ever really met these men? I mean, really and truly seen them face to face? Or are they just a figment of pop culture's imagination?

I think that many of us waste too much time looking for these guys who don't exist, and can easily miss the normal, decent ones who use regular ways to show us that they care...

Last night proves my point... I'm huge, no matter what anyone tries to tell me, there is an extra 25 pounds of stomach pulling me forward with every step that makes it nearly impossible to pick things up off the floor and completely impossible to tie my shoes... I'm huge...

The point here is that me and my colossal belly were trying desperately to box up what is left at my old apartment, carry said boxes down metal stairs outside, load the boxes into my car and then clean the empty apartment (using what? I'm not allowed to be around most cleaning products). Just as frustration was setting in, my knight in shining armor appeared. Not on a white horse, or a shiny Harley, but in his Honda Civic -- wearing flip flops and old basketball shorts. Before long, he was weilding a bottle of bleach spray, tossing items into the wastebasket and vowing to return the next day to attack the dust mites that have collected on top of the refrigerator over the past year. Aaaahhh....my hero!

And the truth is, I'm sure that anyone would have helped me if I had asked...but he came without being asked. Just because he is a good guy.

And I realized that this was just one example of the many ways he has used action, instead of empty words, to be the man (and above all, friend) that I needed. Getting my family theme park tickets and acting like it was no big deal, when I know he had to pull some strings.... Giving me a card on my first day of work, telling me that I was going to be great... Taking me out to dinner when I told him the earthshaking news that I was having a baby, and she wasn't his... Walking away from the relationship, even though he might not want to, because he knows that my focus right now has to be on my daughter and my health....

So he might not follow me to Europe, but I guarantee he would drive me to the hospital if my water broke. And he might not waste words defending me to my high school's homecoming queen, but I know he stands up for me when most people in his shoes would say some pretty awful things instead.

So the timing isn't right for me to have my very own McDreamy, but I know I am truly blessed to have someone who cares about me as a person enough to carry my heavy boxes, and find other subtle ways to be a friend and good man.