What a Week...

It can be difficult to put on a smile when you have gained 20 pounds, and had no sleep because of an alien kicking your bladder all night. It's hard to grin and bear it when your doctor keeps talking about your upcoming delivery in "your husband" terms (i.e. - "your husband and you should decide if you want an epidural," and "your husband should really be doing all the housework at this point") -- even though you have told him 5,000 times that you are single and there is no "husband" or "boyfriend" and basically no "baby's daddy." (hello, jerry springer??)

Sometimes I'd rather cry then laugh when the lingering smells of newsprint, blooming onions and my dog make me want to vomit all over my favorite Steve Madden sandals that my feet are getting to wide to fit into. Thoughts of "the future" make me anxious -- and instead of thinking warm, fuzzy thoughts about cuddling with my baby, I worry about where I will live, how I will work and if I will be a good mom. Sometimes I think it's not fair, that I have all this responsibility resting solely on my shoulders, and that I may be in way over my head...

But then I have a week like this one -- when situation after situation encourages me and shows me that I did make the right decision the day I threw the abortion clinic pamphlet in the trash and said, "I'm going to be a mom."

First, my family -- what an awesome family I have. They never make me feel homesick because they are always so supportive of wherever I go, and whatever I do. Seeing them this week made me remember how lucky I am to have people that are there for me no matter what -- not because they have to be, but because they want to be.

Then, my great friends and co-workers. They never get tired of the "Katie Saga" and constantly encourage me, and make me feel beautiful, supported and loved.

I found a safe, nice, and affordable place to live and a roommate to be there when I need someone else to reassure me, or pick up something I dropped (it's getting difficult), or just tell me everything is going to be ok.

And to top it all off, I got word this week that my department would not be having any layoffs (after weeks of speculation, and me worrying about losing my job).

So while it might be easier to feel bad for myself, there are so many wonderful things going on around me to sway me otherwise. I may not have the storybook situation right now, but I have something even better -- an unexpected bestseller, with the protaganist finding good things behind every door.