Sunday, July 20, 2008

Slipping Through My Fingers...

Listening to the hits of Abba sung by Meryl Streep and the girl from Mean Girls (you know, the dumb one) had me in tears tonight. Not because either one was especially Oscar-worthy or stupendous (though they were quite good), but because Meryl was a single mom, who raised a beautiful and intelligent daughter and the whole movie is the night before said-daughter's wedding.

I actually had Emilia with me, thinking she would sleep through the whole thing, but she watched the movie and grooved her little bobble head to the tunes. Holding her tiny hand, I realized that someday her and I will be in the same situation.

It might not be the night before her wedding, or on a gorgeous Greek Island, but one day I'm going to look at that sweet face and realize that she's not my little girl to hold onto... but instead, an adult. And just like the movie, I hope that she wants me there anyway.

I'm not sure why the waterworks are coming on so strong now. I've been a daughter and had a mother of my own my whole life. But the world provides a whole new view through the Mommy window...

So I guess I'm doomed to cry at every movie, song, poem, haiku, bumper sticker and kitchen magnet that mentions daughters, or mothers, or growing up.... forever, I guess.

Bring it on home, Abba...

"Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I cant deny

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time"

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